Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Journey Has Just Begun

My last post was almost 1 year ago =)

Suddenly today I feel like blogging. My last post was so significant especially in my walk with God.
Since then I've learnt not to understand everything but to just trust God in everything. Wholeheartedly.

I never knew that what I've gone through last year has birthed such a faith in me to believe God for an amazing future He has prepared for me. It wasn't only last year but as I looked back I knew in my heart that everything that happened in the past few years was to prepared me for something certain.

First of all, I learnt to SURRENDER all my desire and wants including my past, present and future. Allowing Him to work through in every areas of my life. When Jesus surrendered His life on the cross He did it without holding back anything but He has given up everything for my sake. In my personal perspective of surrender it is not merely talking about giving up my own will but to TRUST God enough to handle my life - my desire and wants. In Matthew 6:10 says Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Secondly, I learnt to activate my FAITH. What is faith? In Hebrew 11: 1 says faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. I do not know what exactly lies ahead of me but I choose to have faith Jesus knowing that He has the best interest for me. He also assures me that He knows the plans He has for me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29 : 11).

Thirdly, I learnt to OBEY the Lord. This are the hardest part of all because I am afraid if I heard it wrongly. I am afraid if the Word that I received and the conviction in my heart wasn't from God. But it became very strong each day as time past. Of course, it took me a while to really think through and prayed through the major decision I was about to made. Yes. To come to this stage of critical decision, I need to surrender and to have faith in God then only I am able to obey the Lord. I took the step of faith and asked God for a sign. I did my part - I applied for the post and the rest I leave it to God. He opened the door and now I join as a full-time staff in serving the Lord. Looking back at it, I never regretted with the decision I've made.

Now, I see how things starts to fall into places one by one. It was amazing how one decision made has brought me into something I could never imagine but I know it was a dream come true which I had surrendered earlier on to Him. My heart desire, I just want His perfect will to be done in my life which are the purpose I am predestined for...way before I was formed in my mother's womb (Jeremiah 1:5).

I am excited because this journey has just begun... ^_^




Friday, June 22, 2012

I Won't Give Up

I have to admit that these 2 weeks has been to most toughest and lowliest moment of my life for this year. I hardly talked to people. I hardly expressed the feeling inside of me. From the outside i look alright somehow rather inside of me there was a turbulence and indescribable feeling going on. I wanted to quit and i wanted to give up. It seems that there is no way out of the situation that i faced.

I was praying hard for something and desperately wanting God to answer my prayer as soon as possible. I even query, "Why i have to go through all these?". I don't understand. >.< Really i don't understand. Tears running down my face each time i think of the situation i am facing. I feel heartache and pain in my chest. Could this be stopped? Could this find the end of it? There was no answered. I am losing my appetite. I am losing my joy. I am losing my spontaneous songs. I am losing my passion. 

I tried to figure things out. A way out. Desperately.

I fell on my knees as tears running down on my face. I cried.
I can't even say a word of prayer. I was groaning instead.

I told God, "Will you come and rescue me?"
Each time i entered into my 'prayer mountain' and drove from one destination to another, i never stopped praying that God will showed up. Desperately prayed each time. 

A week had past.
I still feel the same. 
Weak and no strength to walk through this journey. 
I told God, "I can't make it anymore. I have no strength."

I requested someone to prayed for me. I cried in pain. 
A word came and pierced deep into my still beating heart. 
Wilderness. Obedience. Trust. 
My heart beat paused for a while. 
I was slapped on my face.  

I searched everywhere. High and low.
What is the meaning of wilderness?
It seems that it has gone from my life dictionary and i have to pay for the price to know what it means.

In wilderness.
God asked for my total obedience and trust.
Can't i just trust God to bring me through the sand storm that i'm facing?
Can't i just trust God to pull me through the heat in the wilderness?
Will i obey God to walk through this journey faithfully 'til i entered into the promised land?

Now.
I can feel my heart beat rhythm has changed.
I can feel my blood circulation comes back to its normal route.
I can feel a warm feeling inside of me.
A new songs.

Smiling and laughing.
How foolish i was? 
I wanted things to go on my way.
I wanted to direct God to do what i want as if i am the BOSS. 

Precious. Priceless.
I learnt.
Not to understand everything. No one will.
Not to insist on my own way.
Never give up. Never quit.
To obey. To trust.
To lean on HIM as HE carried me throughout this journey i called seasons of life.



 ~ I won't give up ~

P.S - No matter what is the situation you are facing now. Continue to walk the journey. Do what is right. Never give up. Don't quit. You will see the silver lining at the end of the gloomy day. It won't last forever. Keep walking for you are not alone. 




Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My One Thing

i know. i am truly blessed to be who i am today ! everyone has the one thing that they can't live without.

everyone has the one thing that they will always treasure. the one thing that makes you forget about the bad day that you just went through. the one thing that makes you move forward no matter what comes on your way. the one thing that you will always look forward. the one thing that cherish you in times of sorrow. the one thing that reflect of who you are. the one thing that brings smile unto your face or even a tears. the one thing that makes your world goes round. the one thing that touches you to the deepest of your heart. the one thing that encourages you to always want to give the best. the one thing that you want to share to other people and hope that others would have the same one thing.

i don't know about you? But let me tell you, this is my ONE THING~ Singing to my Lord a.k.a Worshiping !!

















Each time i sing to my God i feel like the rest of the world has faded and all i want is to go deeper and deeper. totally indescribable!!! Awesome moment!!

P.s - i don't have the best vocal ever. i haven't reach the highest note ever been recorded. i am not trained as a professional singer. i can't read notes and all the 'tauge' symbols. i am lack of knowledge in this field. :) but i know i am singing for my God and each day He develops my skills so that people will be blessed through His mighty works. All glory to God.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I am Getting Married too?? :p

Arghh..another friend of mine tied the knot and this is one of the most awaited moments :)
A moment to be remembered and shared with love, joy, laugh and tears.

She is one of my bestie ever and will always be. 10 years ago we were talking about married life and stuff like that, today she has chosen her life-partner and officially married on the Feb 11th, 2012. This whole thing about getting married really gets on my nerves or makes me feel very uneasy because people starts to asked me for my turn T_T . Recently, the freshie fb - cousin who has just sign-up, being active posting in my FB wall - Bila mau kahwin? hmm.. and even in church the 'Hot Topic' since last year was all about getting married. Hahaha..at times, i really feel like i was shot to my face :p

It doesn't stopped there, there was one time when i checked my FB i saw 3 msg in my inbox - a personal wedding invitation - from a close friend of mine. it was all in the same day and almost at time same time. i remembered i posted about this on my FB too hahahaha..to be frank, when seeing my friend getting married and doing all the planning for their big day, deep in my heart i got the nudge about it but as always, i will remind myself, for there is a seasons for everything and i shall not rush about it :p So no worries ba!! Haha..and my mum who worried the most now. once, she rang me and started to lectured me on this issue as she poured out her concerned. i told her, 'for sure, one day i will be walking down the aisle and made the vow in front of everybody'. she said, 'jangan tunggu lama-lama'. hahaha..i believe every mother has that concern too. don't worry too much mama :)

The quota of being the bridesmaid has now completed. it is enough for me *haha - i don't know if anymore of my close friend will request me to be their bridesmaid. but for sure when my turns come *perasan* all my bridesmaid will be a married woman or maybe with kids or in their big belly expecting for their babies :) hahaha... macam betul2 mau kahwin saja pula saya ni sudah..hahaha..

Ok. comes back to my story about my bestie wedding, i love the simplicity of her wedding..(it is not that simple but i felt relax and enjoying myself so much throughout the day ^^)the day before her wedding she picked me up from the airport and she seems to be very calm and relax. saya pula yang nervous haha.. i know after so many years we hardly had the time to spent together due to the distance. we only kept in touch through phone calls, sms, FB and etc but once we see each other, it never made me feel awkward tho. i still feel the same except the fact is we had grown up and i am there with her to be the witness during her big..(not only the witness yang duduk tengok2 saja but i signed as a witnessed on her wedding certificate ^^ awesoemprivileges) ..

Ba, enjoy the photos below and credit to all the photographer :)


















P.S The photo wasn't in order. Apology for that :)
- I realized this time the photographer took a lot of photo of myself. hmmm... :p
(To Malvitta & Jonathan wish you both cepat2 ada baby and don't forget to buy insurance from me..hehehe..sempat)



Wednesday, June 15, 2011

A Pursuit of Happyness

T_T *emo feeling...*

Today i choose to blog about a movie that i'd watched yesterday night. I was so touched and moved by the based on true story ' The Pursuit of Happyness' movie played by Will Smith and his own son, Jaden Smith. What a touching and inspiring movie i ever watched though my entire life. I can't have enough with the movie, its so good for me. I've learned so much and I would like to recommend this movie to anyone who read this, you should go and find some time to watch it at any cost. You will not be regret and be thankful instead.

Plot of The Story
In 1981, in San Francisco, Chris Gardner (Will Smith) invests his family's savings in portable bone-density scanners which he tries to demonstrate and sell to doctors. The investment proves to be a white elephant which financially breaks the family and as a result, his wife Linda (Thandie Newton) leaves him and their son Christopher (Jaden Smith) and moves to New York. While downtown trying to sell one of his scanners, Chris meets a manager for Dean Witter and impresses him by solving a Rubik's Cube during a short cab ride. Chris does not have enough money for the cab fare and flees the cab driver into a subway station where he barely escapes the cab driver but loses one of his bone scanners in the process. This new relationship with the Dean Witter manager earns him the chance to become an intern stockbroker. Despite arriving there unkempt and shabbily dressed due to an emergency, Chris is offered the internship. Chris is further set back when his bank account is garnished by the IRS for unpaid taxes, and he and his young son are evicted.

As a result they are homeless, and are forced at one point to stay in a bathroom at a subway station. Motivation drives him to find the Glide Memorial United Methodist Church, which has a homeless shelter primarily for single mothers and their children. Due to demand for the limited rooms, Chris must frantically race from his internship work early each afternoon in order to land a place in line. Chris finds the bone scanner that he lost in the subway station from a demented man who believes it to be a time machine and it is now damaged, but Chris finally repairs it.

Disadvantaged by his limited work hours, and knowing that maximizing his client contacts and profits is the only way to earn the one paid position that he and his 19 competitors are fighting for, Chris develops a number of ways to make phone sales calls more efficiently. He also reaches out to potential high value customers, defying protocol. One sympathetic prospect takes him and his son to a professional football game. Regardless of Chris's challenges, he never reveals his lowly circumstances to his co-workers, even going so far as to lend one of his bosses five dollars for a cab, a sum he can barely afford.Concluding his internship, Chris is called into a meeting with his managers. His work has paid off and he is offered the position. Fighting back tears, he rushes to his son's daycare, hugging him. They walk down the street, joking with each other and are passed by a man in a business suit (the real Chris Gardner in a cameo). The epilogue reveals that Chris went on to form his own multi-million dollar brokerage firm.
*Copied from -> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pursuit_of_Happyness

Be blessed people!! =)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Day When i Lost My Organizer Book


I am so starving just now and i ate like i never eat before..haha..now im full - eat maggie mee only..haha..

ok as i promise in my post previously, i will blog about one of my best GF who just got maaried recently. this was my second time coordinating a wedding (church wedding + wedding reception)..well same goes to the previous wedding that i coordinate, her church wedding ceremony runs exactly the same as before, for this reasons i felt a little relax from the very beginning when she asked me to coordinate for her big day. planning goes well as we communicate regularly via hp, email & fb. we finally manage to get the actual day event flow completed 4 weeks before the big day. wow. things seems to be safe and sounds. and as for her, she is doing fine according to her, just for your info she's working in KK and im staying in Miri atm. =)

Some tips, (1) communication part is very important when coordinating a wedding. most importantly the brides n grooms know exactly what they want, from then on, the wed co. will b able to work things out. well, they may not even give you the details of it but at least they can give you the big picture of their expectation. (2) the people involves need to be inform and brief. macam expert!! haha just want to share a little of what i've experience :p ..to those who plans to get marry, (3)get someone or your friend to help you to coordinate and do the planning together/brainstorm, so that you'll be less headache & you can enjoy your precious day the most. (4) Let your partner get involve in the preparation, my friend did that too =) super baik punya hubby ba tu..hehe..(5) Not forget to mention, family meeting or family gathering. organize a family gathering and spell out to them the planning you have. get their opinion as well. (6) Checklist. thanks to the internet. people get the checklist guide available and you'll be less headache on keeping track with your progress.

After saying all this, i have to admit that it's easy to say things then to do it. (7) keep this i mind, what you want and dreams on your actual wedding day may not always turn the way you plan it. (8) so dont be discourage or feel sad. it happens to many people. just ask around, they'll give you similar answer. =)

These are some tendencies occasions that may happen during your actual day, some people get weird and being aggressive, people came late, people suddenly MIA - missing in action, you yourself got worried over nothing, decoration not up to your expectation, last minute changes on plans due to something, weather upset and the list continues...worse still if the brides or groom ran away on the actual day..haha..find the right one is the answer to this..JK. some people say, plan early such as a year ahead but it is hard to say. my sis got engaged after 3 months officially in her relationship and 3 months later she got married. this was our(family) first wedding to be organize and plan. we know nothing since we never directly involves in any wedding preparation before. our knowledge about wedding is too shallow and that's my first encounter with things as these. you can imagine how kasian it was but thank God that she's happily married with 3 lovely kids. SWEETTTTTTTTT.....

so yeah, what i'm trying to say is. (9) be happy and enjoy your wedding day. (10) pray and surrender it all to God. everything happen for a reasons. remember that =) . And on your actual day (11) give your very best/sweet smile and your best posture in all that you do coz the camera is now focusing on you and you doesn't want to look funny/ugly/sad in your photo.the camera will indeed capture all the good moments you had and to support this fact you need to (12) get a good photographer ...haha...

and for those who will be coordinating the wedding, (13) give your best shoot in all you do and plan like it was your own wedding - almost like your own - ..if its yours then probably you will change the whole thing and follow your own rules..thats wrong :p ..haha..and the best gift ever you'll receive is the joy of seeing your best gf enjoying her every moment of wedding. and don't forget to (14) get an assistant too!! so that you'll not be over loaded with tasks. one more thing - for the bride - is to (15) inform all your friends especially the close one to attend your big day. it made a huge difference with their presence. the earlier you inform them the better it is. you will definitely enjoy the group photo and the fellowship with them. i know for some people, their parent's friends is more than the brides and grooms it self but it doesn't matter (its a good sign of receiving more 'red-packet' from the elder..haha..) nah, make sure that you (16) allocate some time to spend with your gf or bf (for the groom)..

This would not be complete without this one - On the cost wise, all that i can say is (17) be wise, (18) stick on your budget, (19) cut the unnecessarily, (20) be a little 'thick-face' to re-use anything (i mean it) that you can borrow from your friends or relatives but make sure you modify/adjust a little :p and (21) trust God that He will provides the rest.. =)

Fuh, what a long write huh..got tips some more :p ..i should be charging you on this JK..haha.. ba, hope you enjoy the reading and now let us all embrace the moments together through the photos (not organized ;p) below..

btw, thanks to http://www.jevfshen.com @ http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208001891&sk=photos .. - Jeff if you read this, ba don't forget to give me a commission for the free promo k..haha..

Be blessed!! =)



p/s - i lost my organizer book the day before the wedding


She is Taken but more to like - He is MINE by the brides..

LO.V.E - i like this picture..

First Dance by Mr. & Mrs. Jepri

I like their sweetness in this photo..
As always our most energetic and beautiful brides..
Grooms : Will you marry me my darling?
Brides : Yes, my dear!
How sweet is that?? Look at the brides expressions..paling :p

This is so random..!!
( Wiwin, Risma, Ester, Myself, Josoni & Kris)

Oppss.. 2nd time :p

Love & Joy - I heart this =)

Pulling the brides & grooms apart..bad~!!

Everyone is busy on their own thing. =)
I was still printing something (on white pants-fav pants- & black shirt)
Busy la konon tu ;p


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

When My Best GF Tied The Knot - A Tribute

i am sure that i am so bad in updating my blog..hahaha..it doesn't matter anymore, if i feel like doing it then i'll update. :p .. but i have a journal which i update for almost everyday :) ..its just the same thing but blogging are more to share my life to people thou.. sharing is caring. thats what they called it..and thats the reason why i want to update my blog too.. haha..this is an indeed a lousy intro.. :p

what i want to blog about? ..actually its about two of my best gf who got married this year. finally, they tied the knot. ermm, firstly, i want to share about my first gf who got married on feb 12, this year. it was a great moment to be shared and remembered. it was my first time coordinating a wedding (church wedding). to be frank, i don't know much on how to coordinate and run things but i thank God for the opportunities to be part of Fiona's & Ema's weddings last year. i learnt alot from these two friends of mine. they were indeed a good planner thou. and thank you to the internet too.. it helps alot.. :) honestly, i felt a 'lost' in my heart when she got married but i knew its just me being emo. haha..she's still the best gf i ever had. imagine we got to know each other when we were so young and we shared our childhood's, teen's and adult's life together. i still remembered clearly in my memory when we used to play together after school. and when we had our first phone line (Telekom), she is the first person that i called to share the moment. we used to play cooking together, play dolls together and grooming our own self together.haha. quarrel? of course, maybe she forgot about this but not me. we didn't talk to each other for quite some time because of 20 cents. haha. that was extremely funny. well, we were young and we can't reason very well. that's why. anyhow, its funny when i think of it again. hahaha..(Rolling :D ) but of course our relationship recovered after that. times healed! erm, i remembered that when i slept over at her place her parents had to remind us that its time to go to bed coz we never realized that we talk til very late night. there was one time when she sms me and asked me to guess something, i replied her with a short msg guessing that she got into a relationship (which means having a boyfriend la) ..she told me YES!! haha..her first love and now officially her husband (lucky guy :p ). when i did very bad during one of the major exam in my life, she's the one who comforts me and said that there will be a lot more opportunity for my future and asked me not to never give up (i almost cried during those time). she's indeed a friend in times on need. she's not only a good friend to me but she is like a sister - she used to cook for me and do my laundry as well :p. i tell you she's so wonderful to be friend with. (not using her la) and although i was away from KK for many years for study purposes and yet we are still so closed..thanks for the invention of the communication tools which makes the world has no boundaries :) its indeed a great invention. In fact, God has been so great and bless our friendship so much through these years. at the end of 2005 i decided to further my study in KL and wondering how's life would be. out of the blue she called me and said that she was going to be posted in KL to teach in a primary school. i jumped up and down and told her about my plans. i believe it was God who made this arrangements for us. =) Praise God !!

hehe..okok.. come back to her wedding, ya.. she was a bit tensed the day before her wedding day (partly it was because of me being demanding i thought :p )..but the whole things changed when we surprise her with a small party the night b4 her wedding - > bachelorette party <- .. it was a simple party but it impacted all of us so much especially the brides.. (hope so :p) . during the actual day we went for breakfast @ the last meals for her as a single lady :( she still a bit tensed during that time and before we make a move to the church i decided to pray for her. too religious oh me..haha.. to cut the story short, her wedding went smoothly and finished ON TIME!!.. i could say that her wedding was simply simple but it has a deep sentiment to me. i said this becoz during the photo sessions, i knew that i could no longer hold my tears. thats why i turned my face right after i congratulate and hugged her. if i recall this i still had the same feeling . T_T
But of course i am happy for her =)

i am so grateful to know her and to have her as my best gf. when she lost her elder sister we were still very young and we couldn't comprehend about life and death. we continued life together and enjoy our days. one thing i learned from her, she took the roles as an elder sister by doing the house chores and etc. she's the best!! well, maybe its God's plan for me to be part of her life so that she won't feel lonely without her sister (wah, what a sad story ohh.. T.T) i also realized that my temperament and personality are way different than her but we made a good friends together. i wish her happy all the days to come and i know very well that she longs to have kids ASAP..haha..still praying that her wish will come soon too..hehe..

and i just had my trip to kk during my gf ester's wedding (i will blog about this as well,.. soon :p) last hols and i had a good catch-up with them :) yeahhh......

ba, wanna pack and go back home now..

***************The Moment ***************

Deep sentiment..

The 'Pearl' of my heart..

A symbolic of LOVE


Soon to be the brides sis-in-law

The brides and the entourage

The brother who loves her at all times

The friendship that was build through ups and downs.

Natural :p

Her bouquet ^^

Josoni @ Ikie & Myself...Taken during our free bunk at Cititel Hotel KK - June 2010
(TQVM to my friend Simi ^^)